January 23, 2009

My dreams of becoming a stand-up comedian began on an August night many years ago when my family watched the HBO premiere of EDDIE MURPHY DELIRIOUS. I was only six years (and one month) old when the landscape of comedy was changed forever — and I knew that, one day, I was going to be the beloved star who could go on stage and get paid to talk about my dick.

And I did. It might be a bit of a stretch to call myself a “beloved star,” but I eventually found myself in front of a microphone stand; barely able to see past the spotlight. A chance meeting with an old acquaintance at a Chinese take-out spot led to me delivering about ten minutes-worth of ‘Open Mic Night’ material at the old McGuire’s Comedy Club in Bohemia.

For a first time out, I wasn’t shitty. I joked about relationships, those magazines that exploit the insecurities of their female fanbase, and how every single one of my press conferences would have to be “live, via satellite, from an undisclosed location” if I was the first black president. And it was heaven.

Hearing an audience laugh at the material I spent three weeks writing and shaping was like the ultimate high… and I just knew — I just knew that this was my reason for being.

That night was the first time I felt truly alive, and I have been chasing that golden feeling ever since. It’s why I write. It’s why I performed in a one-act play. It’s why I was a co-host of RADIO BLAZE and THE FILM BASEMENT — and why I am writing this today.

I love to perform.

Because I love being who I am supposed to be.

That’s what is important in life. Find the thing that makes you YOU, and fucking be you! Get over your fears, and forget about what anybody else tells you. I don’t care if you want to be a painter, or a rapper, or a poet — just be the goddamn wonder you are meant to be, and change your world for the better.

It took me a long time to learn how to love myself, again… but I do. I may not be perfect, and I may not have the life I once dreamed about, but I know that, one day, I’m going to be the beloved star who goes on stage and talks about my dick.

And that is worth everything.

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